you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
He? As in you personified your dick?
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Randomize
