My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
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