How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
Randomize
