just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
Randomize
