she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
Randomize
