Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
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