we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Randomize
