so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
They should really pass out barf bags in church
smell my finger.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Randomize
