how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
He's a Shit stain on my heart
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
Randomize
