Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
you didnt know i had herpes?
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize
