I could have mohawked her pubes.
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
he fucked my hip out of place.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Randomize
