Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
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