I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
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