Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
Randomize
