I want to stick my p in your. b.
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
Randomize
