if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
