The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
