i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Randomize
