We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
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