good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Randomize
