Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
Randomize
