Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
so much tequila, so little girl.
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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