But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
I met the friendliest cop last night
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
