i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
