I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
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