making cat noises will not fix the situation.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
