I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
Randomize
