he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
Randomize
