Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
