i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
