do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
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