I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Randomize
