Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
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