so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
