the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
Randomize
