Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Randomize
