all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Randomize
