Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Randomize
