I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
Randomize
