I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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