I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
