Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
Randomize
