the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
I think I am morally bankrupt
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
Randomize
