Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
The feeling are messing with the penis
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
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