Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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