I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
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