do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
I wish there were birth control emojis
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
