I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
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