So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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