Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
Randomize
