I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
Randomize
